To Friends, Colleagues and Family Members


自由なこころ
Have you noticed some behavioral change in one of your friends,colleagues or family members?

If you have, what have you done?

Telling him/her not to worry, get well or do better sometimes does more harm than good.

If they could have done so, there wouldn't have been a problem in the first place.

It is important that you listen with compassion without giving your opinion intrusively.



  • Here is a checklist to help you notice better



  • Some advice that you could keep in mind




  •  
     

    1.He/she seems to be awfully quiet recently, often in tears.

    2.He/she has been complaining of lack of appetite, inability to sleep etc. Looks pale and unwell.

    3.He/she is making quite a few small mistakes at work, has lost moivation and concentration.

    4.I catch him/her looking absent-minded and staring at nowhere doing nothing.

    5.He/she continues to blame himself/herself for small mistakes or for things not solely his/her fault.

    6.He/she loses temper at small things, shouts or even gets violent.

    7.He/she refuses to take blame for his/her mistakes, blames others or gets paranoid.

    8.He/she seems to be drinking and or smoking more in quantity and more frequently.

    9. He/she takes absentee leave or often late for work.

    10. His/her desk and/or room has become a mess, contrary to how it was before.


    Back
     
     



     
      Some Advice


    Reflect on what has been going on in his/her life.

    Discuss among those around him/around her to check your observation.

    Have you recently talked tete-a-tete (privately) with him/her?

    Sometimes it is better to ask directly than second guess.

    If he/she is not willing to talk, do you have any idea why?

    Don't insist. Think of other ways conducive to talking and to help relax.

    Persistent insistance on a medical check-up may give out messages that you do not intend.

    Encouragement and praise could produce counter-effective pressure.

    How could the working condition or the environment be improved ? Who could be a good support?

    Is there a possibility of networking and creating a support group or a team?


    Back
     


    e-mail:akiko@akicounseling.com